The Squat Machine is an interactive adventure novel in which you play the hero and make decisions which guide you through the story.

"The moment you release the button the colours in the room begin to saturate, as if rich unearthly hues are being pumped in from a different dimension. The sounds of the machine are like two iron disks rotating against each other, and hundreds of steel ball bearings being shaken up to fever pitch.

All of the sounds and colours of the room seem to be infused with unfamiliar vibrancy. As if somebody is slowly maxing out all the EQ frequencies on a giant mixing desk, causing it to swell through your entire body. You can suddenly taste all of the bacteria in your own mouth, and feel the tiny mites crawling through the microscopic cracks in your skin. You can feel the tendons in each of your fingers contract as you grip the handlebar tightly."

The story begins when you wake up on the floor of a squatted school in Berlin, having arrived the previous night in a storm on a mission to leave your previously mundane life behind. Your choices will lead you through exciting adventures including tidying your room, meeting your new squat mates, and triumphantly riding The Machine to different worlds through the fragile fabric of reality.

The book contains a fair amount of violence, swearing and sex, so if that isn't for you (or your kids) you should probably buy it for someone else.

1st edition was officially released on Friday 20th August 2021.
2nd edition was officially released on Friday 18th March 2022.
3rd edition was officially released on Friday 16th February 2024.

If your country isn't listed on the Shipping list, send me a message (you can use the contact form or any contact details you've got for me) and we can hopefully work something out.